I read somewhere that the pain of this type of loss never goes away, but does, instead dull itself over time. It still has not stop, in fact, from deeply unnerving us as to mortality and what image and memories we leave to our loved ones when we are gone.
One night, a few years back, has got me thinking as to what really lies beyond our physical world -- where do we go after this life? Like other Catholics raised into the faith, I, too, believe that heaven does exist. But what exactly is there in heaven?
Susie Salmon, from Alice Sebold’s The Lovely Bones, was placed in her own personal heaven. Well, not exactly in heaven with the Supreme Being; but sort of like a a really nice transition place. As she mentions, it is the Eternal Being that placed her there since she cannot still go to "real" heaven because of her strong attraction (her will and desire) to see the world and the loved ones she left behind.
In her middle place, she plays with other kids her age, lives in a perfect world that she has dreamed of when she was still alive, and even got a visit from her beloved grandfather who passed away years before she did. It was also in this place where she indirectly guided and looked after her remaining family still living on earth.
This description of a sort of almost heaven/afterlife has got me thinking. If this is really what the afterworld looks like, then I’d definitely want these in my world after this:
- Library of all the books on earth where I can read at my leisure and pleasure.
- A ginormeous (is there even such a word?) craft room where I can be artsy all I want. Supplies are replenished and not a scrap of material is wasted.
- A fully-equipped kitchen with a stocked pantry that never empties and replenishes itself. This is so I can cook to my heart’s content. Also stocked with all the food I can’t cook but love in all those fancy schamncy restaurants, cafes and whatnot. My DIE-t will be non-existent (simply because I've DIEd already. Get it? )
- Have TV equipped with all the shows and movies I loved to watch and will be interested to watch.
- Will be given access to learn the outcome of every mystery that has baffled mankind. What really happened to Amelia Earhart? Did Atlantis really exist? Knowledge would just be so great.
- To be able to go down earth anytime to visit all the wonderful historical places I've always wanted to see. Since I’ll be in spirit form already, I can browse through everything at my leisure. It will be like time travel as I can go to any place on earth in any time past, present and future and simply observe. Just imagine, watching the kalesas (horse-drawn carriages) on the cobbled streets of Spanish-era Manila, viewing the age of the dinosaurs, etc. It would be just like watching a movie!
- There will be no concept of time. Time literally stands still. Since there are tons of things I want to do, time surely cannot exist in my heaven so the pressure of accomplishing everything within a certain pace would not stress me out (stress, BTW, is an earthly concept and definitely not welcome in my heaven.)
- And the most important thing of all, my family will eventually join me in my heaven. This is already a given and one of which, even though I do not have all the other 7 items in my afterworld, this place will still feel like heaven to me.
I may be too idealistic, but this is what my ideal heaven would be like. How about yours?